Sydney Danielle Lough 3/11/07

Sydney Danielle Lough  3/11/07
My Inspiration

Friday, March 12, 2010

Three Years!

It is hard to believe that Sydney would have been three years old today! I can't even imagine what my life would have been like if she were still here! She would be running around, getting in to everything, I'm sure. She would be sassy, like her daddy! (Of course, he has informed me that he is defiant; I am sassy.) She would have made my life a lot easier as she entertained Austin. She would have brought joy to my life every day, just like he does.

Happy Birthday, Sydney!

I miss you so much! This year has been harder for me for some reason. I find myself tearing up at the strangest times, thinking of you. I talk to Austin about you. I tell him when he is playing with something that was yours. I show him your picture.

I don't go by the cemetery very much. I feel guilty about that, but it is just hard to imagine you being there under the ground...even though I know you are not really there. I have a hard time thinking about your beautiful body decaying in the ground. But, I go there if I can when I miss you the most. When I am really having a bad day with it. Your Grandma Nancy and Papa Don keep it looking really nice. And cousin Gavin takes flowers to you occasionally. It really is sweet. He takes so much time to pick out just the right flower for you.

Today, we all came together at the cemetery to bring you balloons and flowers. Grandma Nancy made you a Ladybug flower "cake" that was really cute! Grandpa Ed and Grandma Jean brought you balloons. Aunt Brook and Uncle Geoff brought you balloons and Gavin brought you a little plant. Cameron gave you a pinwheel, but he kept playing with it, too! :) Just before we left, we released several balloons in your memory.

One thing you taught me was how important it is to spend time with family. That is why we all get together each year on your birthday. We went to Aunt Brook's for dinner last night so we could all visit. You would have had so much fun playing with your cousins!

I miss you so much and I wish I could have spent more time with you! I wish I would have spent more time with you when I had the chance. I just didn't know that was going to be all of the time I would have with you! I thought that after you had come through so much, we would have you for so much longer! I am sorry we sent everyone home. I am sorry you spent so much time without us there. I am sorry I did not hold you more. I am so proud of how you fought! You were so brave and strong!

I love you little Ladybug! Mommy will always love and think of you! I will never forget!

Love,
Mommy

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7 comments:

Nichole said...

I'll be thinking of you today. *hug*

Amy said...

Tiffany, your words are really beautiful. I am thinking about you, praying for you and sending you virtual hugs.

Geoff said...

We enjoyed having the family at our house, but we really would have rather been watching Syd opening up some noisy toy and giggling at your house. She is missed so much by us.

Your words really struck home that we should enjoy the time that we have with our children. In the last couple of weeks, I have really been trying to make the most of being at home with Cam and not feeling sorry for myself about being unemployed. Case in point, I got a real kick out of Cam's comment this morning as we changed out of his jammies, "Austin got Wock and Wolls".

I think Cam wouldn't stand a chance with Gav taking up for Sydney, and Sydney protecting Austin from his rotten older cousin. Cam would be in tears constantly...

We miss her too,
Geoff

Jean said...

Dearest Tiffany, I can't imagine what it would have been for us if we would have lost you 30 years ago. I remember the anxious moments and the joy! At that time we never once thought that we would see you lose one so precious. We would love to stop the pain, but we can't. One thing we know for sure that little Sydney is safe. Her memory lives on as we celebrate her birthday each year and we'll try to keep her garden going. We'll plant another miniture rose in her garden this spring.

We love Austin so much, but miss her also.

Mom

Shyla said...

Your atrength through the tragedy is inspirational. God bless you guys.

Sandi said...

Tiffany, I am just now reading this. Your words brought tears to my eyes. Sydney will always, always be close to your heart and will always be a part of you -- her forever place in your lives is beautiful.

I love you.

Edie Mindell said...

Hi Tiffany. I am teary-eyed as I was reading your post here. Your words are so beautiful and breathtaking that I can't help but cry. Losing someone you love is really heartbreaking especially with losing a child. I admire you for being brave for your family. God bless :-)