How do you pick a grave marker for your child?

When we were sitting down to pick out the marker for Sydney's grave, we decided on a bench. We wanted something nice and did not want to look back on it down the road and wish we had gone ahead and spent the money for what we really wanted. Also, we thought that since we would be visiting this grave for many years to come, it was well worth the extra cost. Plus, when we have more children, it will be nice to have a place to say, "Here...sit here and color," while I take my time.

We had ordered the bench back in May or June and because of problems with the manufacturer, it had not come in until a few weeks ago...just in time for the snow and the holidays. Needless to say, they could not install it until the weather cleared up.

I was so worried that they would not get it installed by her birthday- in which case they would have had one hysterical momma on their hands!

We have been checking in every few days to see if they had gotten it in yet. On our way back from the doctor's office today, we decided to go by the cemetery to check on the status of the bench. As we pulled up, there were two men working on setting the base. They told us it should be completely installed this evening. So, even though we are sick, and even though it is freezing outside, we went back into town this evening to catch our first glimpse of the bench. Both of our parents met us there.

We are really pleased with the way it turned out. Is it weird that I am actually excited about getting the bench that is to mark my daughter's grave? Nothing makes any sense in this entire ordeal. Things that I think will upset me, or should upset me, don't. And, the things that I think I will be fine with kick me in the gut. I just have to roll with it.

We put ladybugs on the top corners of the bench. We were decorating her nursery in a ladybug theme. Now, they have come to symbolize Sydney in our lives. Every time I see one, I think of her. It is like she is visiting me, or saying hi. Odd, I know, but it is the little things that comfort.

We also put one of the main verses that comforted us during the first few weeks/months after we lost her. It is John 16:33 and can be read below.

No matter what we go through, God has overcome it. It does not say that life will be a cake walk for Christians. It does not say that if you do things the right way, everything will be ok. It says that we are going to have trouble. Plain and simple. But, God has over come all of those things. We struggle to keep that in perspective as we drown in our longing for Sydney.

We love you and miss you Sydney, and we only want the best for you. We know in our hears that you already have that- even without this bench. We will never forget you!

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